Good morning and Happy Monday! Thanks for being here today.

Taking last week off provided a much-needed break from the news cycle, and I dipped back in just in time to hear about the sexual misconduct allegations against Eric Swalwell, as well as catch up on all the men who proclaimed to the world that “they didn’t care” what Swalwell was accused of, they only thing they cared about were Swalwell’s policy positions. As a woman who has been on social media for two decades, I can assure you, the “I don’t care about how powerful men treat women” train is never late.

If you haven’t read up on the allegations against Swalwell, which range from creepily sliding into people’s DMs in the wee hours of the morning to full-on sexual assault, you can catch up here. Four women have now come forward against Swalwell, and dozens of those in political circles are insisting that Swalwell’s “womanizing” and creepy behavior around younger women have been open secrets on Capitol Hill for some time. Meanwhile, 50 former staffers have called on Swalwell to drop out of the race for California governor. Swalwell is also losing endorsements left and right.

None of this, of course, has stopped the misogynists on the left from throwing temper tantrums on social media over their chosen candidate, comparing the claims against Swalwell to the “witch hunt” against Al Franken, which was possibly the first time a liberal Democrat was actually held responsible for being a creepster to women. And look, I loved Al Franken, too, but when people show you who they are, believe them. No less than eight women came forward against Franken, and more were likely waiting in the wings. Al Franken was not railroaded out of the Senate; he quit before all his dirty laundry was laid bare in a hearing on his behavior.

I’ve been fighting on the internet about violence against women by powerful men for more than a decade, writing about everything from online harassment to sexual assault and domestic violence. All of this started when I wrote about my own sexual assault, and I can promise that every woman you know has stories about guys like Swalwell. We are merely playthings for their twisted desires. What makes it more egregious in Swalwell and Franken’s cases (along with guys like Joss Whedon and sportswriter Jonah Keri) is that these are men who pretended to be our allies.

We don’t like to talk about it, but we are steeped in rape culture in the United States. Any time a famous man is accused, thousands of men (and, too often, women) rush to their defense on social media. And around and around we go. Having lived in this rape culture my entire life, here are some things I’ve learned about the way we respond to allegations of violence against women by men who purport to be feminists, or at least decent allies:

1) There is never a “right” time to talk about the allegations. In the beginning, we must “wait for all the facts to come out.” Then, we are supposed to wait for a court of law (laughable) to tell us what’s true. Finally, we are chastised for “dragging up the past.” Rinse and repeat.

2) Guilt or innocence is almost never adjudicated in a court of law, despite all those who believe the court system will tell them whether or not they should continue to support the alleged abuser/rapist. Out of every 1,000 sexual assaults, around 50 will be prosecuted, and 25 will serve jail time. Cases that are brought via civil suit will almost always be settled, often with a non-disclosure agreement that prevents the victim from speaking out. And, most civil settlements have a clause where neither party admits fault.

3) Those who insist we wait until a case is tried to form an opinion are really only want us to stop saying bad things about a man they admire. Most cases won’t even be reported to law enforcement, much less tried before a jury. The facts almost never “come out” the way people think they will. Allegations just fade away.

4) When we talk about “innocent until proven guilty,” we are talking about the standard before trying someone in a criminal case that could lead to their loss of liberty. We are absolutely free to form our own opinions on people based on our experiences living on this planet. I would argue we are obligated to.

5) The number of false accusations in cases involving sexual assault varies depending on different studies, but the most widely cited numbers are between two and seven percent, the same as any other crime. Meanwhile, 98 percent of perpetrators will walk free.

6) No man knows a sexual harasser or rapist, but every woman does.

7) Many men who rush to tell women, “My friend was falsely accused!” are actually just friends with rapists.

8) When it comes to allegations of sexual assault and domestic abuse, the word of a woman is worth about 1/3 of that of a man. That’s why too many people don’t believe the allegations until multiple women come forward (see, e.g., Cosby, Bill; Weinstein, Harvey; Lauer, Matt; Trump, Donald).

9) “If she was really assaulted, why did she keep being friends with her alleged rapist?!?!” It can take victims years to come to terms with being assaulted, and putting on a brave face and acting like everything is normal is a trauma response for some people (like me), especially as women are conditioned to believe they are responsible for their assaults or alone in being abused. As I’ve said many times, I sought out my rapist the night after my assault and had a very friendly conversation at a bar. Coming forward against a famous man is an incredible act of bravery that most of us wouldn’t dare try.

10) Women often come forward when they feel safe or when they are trying to prevent their abuser from harming others. Instead of “why are they all coming forward now?” we should be asking why Eric Swalwell felt so secure in his abuse that he had the gall to run for Governor of Cali-freakin’-fornia.

11) Eric Swalwell (or Kobe Bryant, or Trevor Bauer, or Pete Hegseth) will never see your social media posts defending them, but many women will, and they will decide you are not a safe person.

12) If a woman has never confided in you about mistreatment by men, it’s because she doesn’t trust you.

Frankly, I’d like to see Eric Swalwell and his indignant denials fired into the sun. If Republicans are willing to support and cheer on men who abuse women, that’s their business. I refuse to be part of a party that relegates women to second-class citizens just to win elections. I don’t care if men are “sick of” Republicans staying in office while Democrats have to resign. That’s the price you pay for being on the right side of life.

In hindsight, we all should have clocked Swalwell immediately following this post:

Swalwell posted this after Portnoy was accused of sexual misconduct by multiple women, tried to sue Business Insider for defamation, and had his lawsuit tossed by a judge.

(sings in Billie Eilish) “Birds of a feather, ooo, we stick together, I know…”

Last night, Swalwell ended his gubernatorial bid and is in danger of being booted out of Congress. Good.

In other news: What do you mean JD Vance wasn’t able to win over the Iranians with his charming personality and sparkling wit?; Smell ya later, Viktor Orban; Amanda Ungaro is coming for Melania; and The High Note.

Here we go.

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Well, you could knock me over with a feather, because what do you mean the trio of Jared Kushner, JD Vance, and Steve Witkoff couldn’t get the job done with the Iranians? How could anyone not love these three guys?

Huh. Hard to believe sending a guy with zero political convictions and an upside-down approval rating at home, an infamous nepo baby paid for by the Saudis, and Trump’s favorite real estate developer to Islamabad was a complete failure. It’s almost like we needed experts in nuclear programs and foreign policy there.

We are now light-years behind the Obama deal with Iran, in which we had all of the below, plus an open Strait of Hormuz:

Oh well. I’m sure Americans won’t mind paying $8 a gallon for gas!

For his part, Trump is taking it all in stride, promising to (checks notes) … blockade the Iranians’ blockade and yelling about Pope Leo being “weak on crime.” Normal!

Don’t let people tell you voting doesn’t matter, or that guys like Vladimir Putin and Donald Trump can rig an election so thoroughly that it’s impossible to defeat them. Last night, the people of Hungary tossed right-wing dictator Viktor Orban out on his ass. I don’t think JD Vance’s campaign on Orban’s behalf won the people over.

They were literally dancing in the streets of Budapest.

Orban’s defeat was so overwhelming that he couldn’t even pretend to challenge the results. He called Prime Minister-elect Pèter Magyar and conceded last night.

Shout out to Hungary for showing the US how it’s done. Fascists are not Thanos; they are not inevitable.

Like all of you, I spent much of last week wondering what the hell was about to drop that forced Melania to make her weird-ass statement about Jeffrey Epstein last week. When she claimed that she didn’t have a close relationship with Ghislaine Maxwell, and that she only gave a polite reply to a Maxwell email, I was jumping up and down and yelling at the TV. Because it wasn’t a reply. Melania sent the first message. And no one called her out on it. Look:

Maxwell actually replied to HER:

Amazing that neither Melania’s staff nor the national media fact-checked this one.

Anyway. We may have an answer as to what spooked the First Lady to the point that she came out and stirred up the hornet’s nest again.

WOW. Amanda Ungaro is a former model who came to the US on Epstein’s plane from Brazil, got together with a sleazy modeling agent who introduced Melania to Trump, and eventually got deported by ICE. Ungaro, it seems, is real mad about it, and is about to go scorched earth on everyone, but especially on Melania.

In light of this, I thought this email, which I haven’t seen reported anywhere yet, is interesting. From a redacted sender to Jeffrey Epstein in 2016. Why is he redacted? No one knows.

Each Day, I do my best to leave you with a smile on your face, a song in your heart, and the will to fight another day.

Here’s Bruce doing Purple Rain in Minneapolis last month.

Hey, survive and advance out there today, kids. Don’t let the bastards get you down.

Follow Julie on Bluesky and Instagram so she can get another book contract.