Losing My Perspicacity, November 11, 2025

Good morning and Happy Tuesday! Thanks for starting your day with me today.

Last night, the Senate passed a funding bill aimed at reopening the federal government. I’ve already shared all my big feelings about the Senate Democrats caving to the GOP less than a week after a blue wave crushed Republicans in state and local elections. I’ve been screaming at Dick Durbin all day, both online and in phone messages, and my thoughts on the eight Democrats who voted with the GOP are best left off the page and inside my brain, where you don’t have to deal with my ranting and raving.

Dumbasses.

How did they ever think this was going to end any differently? If you’re interested, there’s an interesting thread here about what the Senate Democrats may have really been after here, but I’m not sure it’ll make you feel any better. I think it made me feel worse. I’m glad this is all a big game of 5D chess to Chuck Schumer and his pals.

But let me tell you what I will not stop screaming about right now: This grifter provision Senate Republicans snuck into the funding bill that basically gives eight of the worst GOPers in Congress up to $500,000 each.

Here’s how they did it. Back when Jack Smith was investigating Trump’s attempt to overthrow the government, he was able to subpoena the phone records of eight members of the Senate — Lindsey Graham (SC), Josh Hawley (MO), Marsha Blackburn (TN), Bill Hagerty (TN), Dan Sullivan (AK), Tommy Tuberville (AL), Ron Johnson (WI), and Cynthia Lummis (WY). This wasn’t a wiretap; no one was listening in on their conversations. This is the kind of information prosecutors often obtain in criminal investigations: a call log that simply lists who called you (or who you called), the date of the call, and the duration of the call. Obviously, if you’re charged with investigating Trump’s attempts to coordinate the overthrow of the Republic, his calls to his cronies in the Senate are highly relevant.

That hasn’t stopped the Senators in question from screaming from the rafters that Jack Smith was “spying” on them (he wasn’t) and doing something illegal (no) or highly unsavory (not that, either). Here, for example, is the always insincere Josh Hawley straight-up lying about the extent of Smith’s subpoena.

Again, no one’s phone was “tapped.” These were just call logs. Prosecutors in my courtroom had them all the time for various charges against my clients.

So, now that the Democrats rolled over on the continuing resolution and given Republicans a vote on the funding bill, the GOP has snuck a provision into the bill that creates a private right of action for only these eight senators. 

Golly! What a surprise that these senators have taken something that happens to criminal defendants every day in this country and turned it into a payout for themselves. I, for one, am shocked. Notice how this provision doesn’t outlaw obtaining anyone else’s phone logs without notice, just US Senators. Our call logs — yours and mine — are still fair game.

Because Jack Smith’s Office of the Special Counsel is part of the Department of Justice, that’s where the lawsuit would be focused — on the Department of Justice. Who heads up the DOJ? Pam Bondi, Donald Trump’s favorite petty blonde enforcer. Do you think Donald Trump is going to tell Pam Bondi to vigorously fight a lawsuit brought by Josh Hawley that involves his phone records on January 6? Correct, he will not. Trump will order Bondi to settle the cases.

So what this provision functionally does is pay up to $500,000 to each Senate Republican who was suspected of assisting Trump on January 6.

There are a couple of things that could keep the January 6ers in the Senate from a windfall payday. First, this provision appears to be in direct conflict with the Federal Tort Claims Act, which gives federal prosecutors qualified immunity from lawsuits for actions taken within the scope of their job. That means they are presumed to have immunity, and it takes quite a show of wrongdoing and abuse of office to open them up to a lawsuit.

Secondly, this provision of the bill only applies to the eight senators, even though one member of the House, Mike Kelly (R-PA), also had his phone logs subpoenaed. It’s possible the House could approve a different version of the bill, or toss this provision out altogether, and it would likely be excluded in reconciliation. And of course, if any of these cases made it to a jury trial, we can always cross our fingers that regular Americans will be appalled enough to tell Hawley and company where to go.

But it’s a real testament to how stupid these Senate Republicans think the American people are that they believe they can pay themselves up to half a million dollars of our taxpayer money and get away with it. And they may be right because, honestly, who’s going to stop them?

Shameful.

Hey, speaking of January 6ers, another one just got arrested for sexual assault and kidnapping here in Illinois.

Banuelos was arrested for his role in the January 6 insurrection in March of 2024, and likely would still have been in jail, had Trump not pardoned him in January.

Today: SCOTUS did something right: Bill Pulte cons Trump into suggesting 50-year mortgages; ICE is sightseeing in Chicago; A SNAP update; and The High Note.

Let’s go.

Love is love is love is love: Obergefell stands

It’s not often these days that we wake up to good news, but yesterday morning, we did. The Supreme Court declined to reconsider the landmark case that legalized same-sex marriage across the United States, despite chaos goblin Kim Davis’s best attempt to get it overturned.

You all remember Kim Davis, right? She’s the Kentucky county clerk who made headlines by refusing to issue marriage licenses to same-sex couples, ostensibly because it conflicted with her religious beliefs about the sanctity of marriage.

Here’s where I mention that Kim Davis has been married four times. (But to be fair, two of those marriages were to the same guy!) In a heart-warming ending for all, Davis will now have to pay the $360,000 in damages and court-ordered attorneys’ fees to a couple who sued her in 2023.

That “Warren Jeffs fangirl” look never really caught on, did it? Also, do my transition lenses look like that? (Please say “no.”)

Bill Pulte convinces Trump 50-year mortgages are a bit win

Imagine being one of Trump’s advisers. You can’t leave him alone for even a few minutes, because stuff like this happens, which I guess is a downside of filling your administration with grifters and con men. This weekend, it was Bill Pulte, Director of the Federal Housing Finance Agency, who got to Trump and talked him into hyping up 50-year mortgages.

And here’s the post from Dear Leader, who apparently will get on board with anything if he thinks it’ll lead to praise.

Saturday at noon. Just amazing that this is how we are creating policy in this country now. Slap it on a poster board like a 5th-grader’s science fair project and run it up the flagpole to see who salutes.

But wait! Wouldn’t a 50-year mortgage be more affordable for Americans who can’t buy a home? Well, no.

And you’d probably die before you paid off the interest. But maybe this is incorrect? I’ve been told by a reliable source that Trump has a very good brain.

An update on ICE’s superfun Chicago field trip

It’s been a full day since I’ve written about ICE, so it’s time to update you on what they, along with their buddies from CBP, have been up to in The Windy City!

First, they visited the nearby suburb of Cicero, where they had a great time tossing pepper spray into a car where a one-year-old was riding with her parents.

Then, it was on to Chicago’s iconic Bean, where they smiled and said, “Little Village!” for the camera. (Little Village is a Latino neighborhood that has been targeted hard by ICE.)

Yeah, so this is still happening. It would be nice if anyone in Congress ever mentioned it. Ever.

The latest in the SNAP wars

Yesterday, I listened in on an emergency hearing in the Boston SNAP case, where I’m quite sure Judge Indira Talwani wanted to grab the DOJ lawyer by his lapels and shake some sense into him. I did a live thread of the hearing here, but someone else unrolled it into something called Skywriter here.

The bottom line is that, as you probably know, after Judge McConnell’s order that the USDA fully fund SNAP on Thursday, the agency sent out a memo to the states saying that they were in the process of complying with the Judge’s order. Based on that memo, some states started releasing full SNAP benefits, because people are hungry and need to eat. The USDA then appealed and sought a stay, which means they never paid the SNAP funds to the states, some of which were left with empty SNAP accounts as a result. The USDA then sent out another memo telling the states to “undo” whatever they had started doing.

Judge Talwani was having none of it.

She stayed the USDA order telling the states to undo whatever they had paid out in benefits, and now we’re waiting for her written order. Meanwhile, we’re waiting for the First Circuit to rule on the merits of the Rhode Island SNAP case.

The High Note

Each Day, I do my best to leave you with a smile on your face, a song in your heart, and the will to fight another day.

Kudos to the Portland ICE facility protestors, who took the “war zone” comment to heart and endeavor, each day, to make the feds look as stupid as possible.

They called it “Sweatin’ Out the Fascism.”

Not all heroes wear capes. Some wear fluorescent leg warmers.

Hey, survive and advance out there today, kids. Don’t let the bastards get you down.

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