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Good morning and Happy Friday. Hallelujah, we survived another week —and this one was a doozy. Thanks for reading today.

Yesterday morning, after realizing that there are likely going to be zero consequences for any of those involved in the Epstein files because the rich and powerful exist in a weird bubble where no one is too disgraceful to associate with, I peaced out of the news cycle and watched Olympic curling all day. I am not proud of this, but it is what it is.

In my defense, this was the last thing I read before I decided to spend the whole day on the couch watching people slide a giant rock across ice.

Before we get to the news, I also want to take a swipe at Michael Wolff, who keeps showing up in the Epstein files, but has convinced many on the left, including The Daily Beast, which hosts his podcast, that he’s on the right side of all this. You may know that, during the #MeToo era, writer Moira Donegan created the Shitty Media Men List — a Google Doc that circulated among women in media. The SMM List warned women about which men to avoid and included details of their alleged transgressions. GOD, could we have used something like that in sports media.

Anyway. Two of the men on the list supposedly wanted to sue Donegan (I believe one actually did), so they reached out to none other than Michael Wolff, who forwarded their request to one Jeffrey Epstein.

Wolff, of course, still has his podcast with The Daily Beast, and, despite being worth an estimated $13- $20 million, he’s raised $800 million on GoFundMe to finance his lawsuit against Melania Trump, because people can’t stop giving money to terrible men. If guys like Wolff are supposed to be our left-wing allies, who needs conservatives?

Speaking of assholes in the Epstein files, I am very much enjoying Melinda Gates’ vengeance tour, in which she doesn’t say anything specific, but is strategically quiet in all the right places. Observe.

I’m sure that her divorce from Bill Gates has an iron-clad NDA, and you can see Melinda’s soul leave her body when she realizes she’s nodding along to things she’s probably not supposed to confirm. Given that Bill Gates has denied the whole thing, I love this for her. I am so sorry that I ever fell for his “lovable nerd” demeanor or his terrible dancing. What a dick.

The latest round of disclosures from the Epstein files has already taken down Brad Karp (that’s his real name), the head of Paul Weiss, one of the most powerful law firms in the world, and British politician Peter Mandelson, who was forced to quit the House of Lords. British Prime Minister Keir Starmer, who apologized to Epstein’s victims yesterday, is also skating on thin ice, after it was revealed that he asked Mandelson about his ties to Jeffrey Epstein before appointing him US ambassador in 2024. Madelson lied, and apparently no one looked into it any further. Really good system.

Oh, to be a rich white guy in the rich white guy club. I’ll hand it to the British, though. At least they’re running these guys out of town on a rail. We’ve still got Epstein’s BFF in the Oval Office, and no one seems to care.

Epstein’s victims, to their credit, are still claiming that documents are being withheld from the public to anyone who will listen. Senate Minority Leader Chuck Schumer tried to force the release of the remaining documents via unanimous consent, but it was blocked by the GOP.

Elsewhere:

I would love to hear Todd Blanche’s answer to this, particularly after he pretended not to understand the question when asked, “Is the public going to learn about the men who abused these girls?” And, at the risk of this getting too long and thus clipped by Gmail, shoutout to Rep. Ted Lieu (D-CA) for saying what everyone else should be saying:

In other news: An update on what’s in the whistleblower letter Tulsi Gabbard has been hiding; We finally got a look at the Democrats’ demands to fund DHS; and The High Note.

Here we go.

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Earlier this week, I wrote about the allegations in a whistleblower document that National Security Director Tulsi Gabbard (god, how is that a thing we have to say?) has allegedly been hiding from Congress for months. After the Wall St. Journal reported on Gabbard’s game of cloak and dagger with our legislative branch, the letter was (finally) transmitted to Congress’s Gang of 8. Now, were getting reports on what it says.

That’s it, folks. Nothing to see here. But it’s worth mentioning that Sen. Ron Wyden (D-OR), sent this letter to the Director of the CIA on Wednesday.

While we don’t know if Wyden’s letter and the whistleblower complaint are related, it sure seems like something is rotten in the US Intelligence community.

While Congress continues to debate funding for DHS, Democrats have released their list of demands regarding ICE and CBP. Here they are:

I’m not sure what I expected, but so much of this is unenforceable and soft. For example: “End racial profiling.” Sure, DHS will agree to it and then keep right on doing it, finding other justifications to stop people who look anything but white, just like police have been doing for decades. “Body worn cameras” - police claim their body cams “malfunctioned” or “weren’t turned on’ all the time. There’s nothing in here about ending qualified immunity or prohibiting the use of children as bait to draw out their parents. They should also demand to know who’s actually in charge of DHS, since this happened:

Senate Majority Leader John Thune (R-SD) has already rejected this list of extremely weak demands as “unrealistic.” Meaning the GOP will not agree to verify that someone is not a US citizen before detaining them.

I don’t believe anything about ICE or CBP is reformable. We must tear the whole thing down. I’m so tired of dragging the Chuck Schumers of the world kicking and screaming towards conclusions that should be obvious to them.

Each Day, I do my best to leave you with a smile on your face, a song in your heart, and the will to fight another day.

Let’s all take a moment and let KD Lang sing to us.

Everything feels terrible right now. But hang in there. This, too, shall pass.

Hey, survive and advance out there today, kids. Don’t let the bastards get you down.

Follow Julie on Bluesky and Instagram so she can get another book contract. Tips? JulieDiCaro.46 or [email protected].