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Good morning and Happy Friday! Thanks for starting your day with me.

I was flipping through the channels today (am I the only one who still does that?) and came across Fellowship of the Ring. And yes, even though I own the extended editions on DVD and can stream any of the LOTR films whenever I feel like it, I still stop and watch every time I happen upon one of them. It’s been my favorite story since I was a tween, and I never get tired of it.

There’s a great moment between Gandalf and Frodo that I’ve been thinking about a lot since November. Frodo, having vowed to take the One Ring to Mordor and see it destroyed, is overwhelmed by the responsibility of saving Middle-earth. It’s all hitting him that he’s one, small hobbit, and, unless he succeeds, all of Middle-earth will fall into darkness under the tyrannical reign of Sauron. And now, on top of everything else, he’s got Gollum to contend with. (I can’t remember if this is how it happens in the books — I was 12/13 when I read them, so don’t yell at me if it’s only in the movies.)

Frodo, wallowing in his anxiety, says to Gandalf, “I wish the Ring had never come to me. I wish none of this had happened.” And Gandalf replies, “So do all who live to see such times, but that is not for them to decide. All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given to us.”

That conversation has been living rent-free in my head lately, especially as the world around us gets crueler and more menacing. Did you ever in your lifetime think that you’d see concentration camps in the United States (again)? Or that a sitting President would send the National Guard into an American city to “crack down” on crime? Or that a President would propose putting the unhoused in jail for the crime of being homeless?

I didn’t, but in hindsight, I was probably naive.

It helps to remember, via Gandalf’s sage wisdom, that we’re not the first to see such times, and others before us have made it through. In the last 200 years alone, we’ve seen a Civil War, two devastating worldwide pandemics, two World Wars, the rise of terrorism around the globe, the enslavement of our fellow humans, and many, many famines. J.R.R. Tolkien himself took inspiration from fighting in WWI and the Battle of the Somme in creating parts of The Lord of the Rings.

So when you feel like everything is hopeless and bleak, remember: It’s not for us to decide what the times we live in will be or how they will affect us. All we have to do is decide what to do with the time that is given to us.

Before we get to the news, please take a second to consider becoming a paid subscriber to Losing My Perspicacity. You’ll get to bathe daily in not only my LOTR nerdery, but all my other forms of nerdery, as well! And hey, if you can’t subscribe right now, please consider sharing today’s newsletter on social media. Either way, if you’d be so kind as to click on the ad below to help offset beehiv’s monthly fee, I’d sure appreciate it. And Gandalf would want you to.

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Today: Gavin Newsom is all out of gum; Weird Al is exactly who we hoped he’d be; Sean Dunn’s name will echo through the ages; Alaska shows up for Ukraine; and The High Note.

Here we go.

Gavin Newsom came to kick ass and chew bubblegum…

I think I’ve mentioned before that I recently saw a California resident compare Gavin Newsom to a John Hughes-era James Spader: He’s a complete dick much of the time, but when he’s on your side against the jackass principle or the evil school board, it’s awesome.

For weeks, Newsom has been threatening to redistrict California in response to Texas’ redistricting, vowing to eliminate more Republican seats than Texas will gain in its partisan gerrymandering. Yesterday, Newsom held a press conference to announce that he’s calling a special election to put said redistricting into motion. So, of course, Donald Trump sent ICE to raid the place.

Here was Newsom’s response:

This is the way Democrats should all be talking about Trump, all day, every day. And so is this:

I have plenty of issues with Newsom, including but not limited to his woefully misinformed take on trans girls in sports and his incredibly stupid podcast, which platforms idiots like Charlie Kirk and Steve Bannon. Hey, maybe we don’t need to find “common ground” with racists and fascists, Gavin! But I’ll give credit where credit is due: This is exactly how to go at Trump.

Are you watching this, Chuck Schumer and Hakeem Jeffries?

I think it’s worth mentioning that a man was killed in California yesterday when he was chased onto a freeway by ICE and was struck by a car. This may be an ideological battle for the White House, but people are dying out here.

All hail Weird Al

I often complain that there is no one left that we can look up to and admire. Dig below the carefully curated public image of so many celebs, and you’ll find racism, sexism, and terrible political takes. And that’s leaving out all the celebrities who have (allegedly) committed crimes. I thought I was safe posting about my deep appreciation for Bryan Adams the other day, only to have several people suggest I Google (or not Google) his take on how COVID began. Le sigh. There are no longer any nice things for us to have.

All that said, I feel relatively safe in saying that Weird Al will never let us down. The genius behind Amish Paradise (RIP Coolio), White & Nerdy, and (my personal favorite) One More Minute, seems to be exactly who we want him to be.

Behold:

As you probably know, the White House has issued a statement of its intent to “review” exhibits at the Smithsonian to make sure they are sufficiently patriotic.

Weird Al always seems terribly nice, so I believe this is his way of saying, “There’s no way in hell I’m donating my stuff to a place that is going to give Donald Trump control over what goes in it.”

God, could we use a Weird Al parody of Trump right about now. By the way, here’s our hero doing an incredibly earnest cover of “Call Me Al” at Red Rocks in June.

And in the off-chance that you have some dirt on Al, I’m going to ask you to keep it to yourself for the time being. I desperately need one unproblematic celebrity to love.

We will tell our children’s children about Sean Dunn

The pink-clad revolutionary who repeatedly called cops patrolling DC “fascists” before hurling his sub sandwich into the chest of one astonished law enforcement officer has been identified. His name is Sean Charles Dunn. Unfortunately, we only know that because he’s been fired by the DOJ and charged with a felony.

China had the humble man holding his groceries standing before tanks in Tiananmen Square; America has Sean Charles Dunn winging a hoagie at a cop. Tomato/tomahto.

I don’t know what was going on inside Dunn’s head at the time, but either he decided he was done with the DOJ and wanted to go out in a spectacular, Costanza-esque blaze of glory, or copious amounts of something had been ingested. Dunn may not be the hero we needed, but he was the hero we deserved.

His sacrifice will not be in vain.

Alaska shows out

As Trump, a convicted felon and adjudicated rapist, headed to Alaska to meet with a genocidal maniac hell bent on the destruction of a sovereign nation, to broker a peace treaty on behalf of a country that wasn’t invited, this is what he and Putin saw:

In Anchorage:

And Fairbanks:

Hats off to you, Alaska!

The High Note

Each Day, I do my best to leave you with a smile on your face, a song in your heart, and the will to fight another day.

I’ve already given you three Weird Al videos today, but times are tough, so here’s one more.

Hey, survive and advance out there today. Don’t let the bastards get you down. Keep your subs close and your enemies closer.