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Good morning and Happy Friday! Thanks for starting your day with me today. A quick heads up, this will be the last LMP until next Thursday, April 9, as I’ll be out of town for a few days. Frankly, my mental health could use a break from the news.
Yesterday afternoon, Donald Trump fired US Attorney General Pam Bondi.
The urge to celebrate Bondi’s firing is strong and understandable, until you think deeper about 1) why she was fired and 2) who will be replacing her.
From the moment she took office, there was nothing about Pam Bondi that was for the American people, the Constitution, or doing any good in this world. To the contrary, Bondi was Trump’s attack dog from the start. Whether she was stonewalling the release of the Epstein files, propping up legal nitwits like Alina Habba and Lindsey Halligan, or drumming up dubious charges against Trump’s political enemies, Bondi was Trump’s creature. She has been his creature since the Trump Foundation sent her Florida campaign $25,000 in 2013 to keep her from joining a lawsuit against Trump University.
Now remember that, despite all the horrific things Bondi did during her 14-month tenure, she wasn’t corrupt and evil enough for Donald Trump.
President Trump fired Attorney General Pam Bondi on Thursday, removing the nation’s top law enforcement officer after privately venting his frustrations for months over her handling of the Epstein files and her failed efforts to prosecute his political enemies.
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The firing of Ms. Bondi, 60, ends a turbulent 14-month tenure as attorney general in which she tried desperately to appease a boss who demanded unimpeded control of the Justice Department to pursue politically motivated investigations against targets of his choosing, even when prosecutors warned that there was no evidence to do so.
In the process, Ms. Bondi surrendered much of the department’s historic independence and oversaw the exodus of experienced career officials, leaving the department’s public corruption and national security units, along with many local U.S. attorneys’ offices, weakened and demoralized.
Yet Mr. Trump remained annoyed by Ms. Bondi’s inability to secure indictments of people he referred to as “scum” during a speech in the department’s Great Hall about a year ago
Trump is replacing Bondi with Deputy AG Todd Blanche, his former attorney, who is possibly even more craven and disingenuous than Bondi. More on him in a second.
It’s not surprising that the first two cabinet members out the door have been Bondi and former DHS chief Kristi Noem, or that both women have been replaced with men. You won’t catch me shedding any tears for either of them, but I do love to say, “I told you so,” and I’m going to do that now.
Bondi and Noem, with their performative worship for Trump and obvious desperation to please him, are avatars for a certain kind of woman — the ones who turn their backs on other women in order to align themselves with the patriarchy. I’ve never been able to wrap my head around why, exactly, some women do this, but take your pick of money, career advancement, proximity to power, internalized misogyny, etc. The problem with the patriarchy is that it never considers women, even the ones on its side, as equals. So when things go south, and heads need to roll, it will always be the women who get thrown under the bus first. Which makes one wonder if it was really worth it to defend separating mothers from their children or covering up sex trafficking? Not that I’ll lose any sleep over Bondi and Noem’s demotions.
As for Todd Blanche, he’s technically only the “interim” AG, but Trump’s shortlist for the position is … less than inspirational.
Woof. That’s like the Day 3 lineup at a knock-off CPAC event in Tampa.
Todd Blanche, who will fill in for Bondi until Trump manages to get another candidate confirmed by the Senate, is not someone we should be celebrating. I’ve read a lot of terrible legal arguments put forth by the DOJ in the last year, and Blanche’s name was usually attached to the worst of the worst of them.
Mr. Blanche, 51, brings a mixed record to the job. He has spent the past year or so enabling the wholesale politicization of the Justice Department and losing the trust of many federal judges while still serving as a last-ditch bulwark against the president’s most extreme attempts to seek vengeance against his enemies.
He has overseen the destruction of the department’s traditional norms of independence from the White House, often treating Mr. Trump not as a chief executive who could benefit from his legal advice but rather as a loudmouthed client whose orders must be followed.
You might remember Blanche best from 1) his role in the decision to allow planes carrying deportees under the Alien Enemies Act to take off, despite a court order from Judge James Boasberg telling them not to; and 2) chastising Democrats for caring about the release of the Epstein files. Blanche is also the guy Trump sent in to “interview” Epstein pal Ghislaine Maxwell in prison, and who reassured us all that Maxwell never saw Trump do anything untoward with children…right before she got moved to a minimum security prison, where she’s allowed to have a puppy. Quelle coïncidence!
There is no silver lining here.
In other news: White House scrambles to remove video of Trump that no one was supposed to see; The US continues committing war crimes in Iran; the Dallas Stars have a Nazi problem; and The High Note.
Here we go.
(I’m not running any ads this week, as the only ads offered to me were for Kalshi and AI-related products. Boo.)
The Trump video we weren’t supposed to see
Did you come across a cringetastic video of Trump being compared to Christ in the last two days? Yeah, we weren’t supposed to see it. The meeting between Trump and a bunch of MAGA pastors was closed to the press, but someone accidentally (?) uploaded video of the event to YouTube. The White House quickly scrambled to delete the posting, but it was saved by quick-thinking journalist Brian Metzger at Business Insider.
In addition to accepting the comparison to Jesus Christ, Trump also takes shots at the Supreme Court (even his own appointees), French President Emmanuel Macron, and takes credit for rising sales of the Bible.
“Republicans, judges, and justices,” Trump began. “They always want to show that they’re independent.”
“‘I don’t care if Trump appointed me, I don’t care, if it doesn’t make any difference to me. I’m voting against him!” Trump said, visibly annoyed.
“Cause they want to show their independence, you know, stupid people,” complained Trump.
He also insulted French President Emmanuel Macron, whom he is trying and failing to get to commit to fully supporting his war with Iran.
***
“I called up France, Macron, whose wife treats him extremely badly, and he’s still recovering from the right to the jaw,” he said, soliciting laughs from the faithful audience.
At one point during the private Holy Week event, Trump appeared to take credit for sales of one of mankind’s oldest texts, the Bible.
“So, Bible sales are now at the highest number in many decades,” he said. “And church attendance among young people nearly doubled compared to five years ago, just five years ago.”
I can’t believe that anyone shows up to listen to this guy’s list of grievances for any length of time, much less an entire lunch.
The US keeps attacking civilian infrastructure in Iran
I’ve complained several times this week about the US military committing war crimes by scattering land mines in civilian areas and attacking civilian infrastructure, like power and desalination plants, in Iran.
Yesterday, we stepped up the destruction.
Why would the US/Israelis bother striking a road bridge? The B1 road bridge was in the final stages of construction and not open to road traffic. Therefore, it had no military value. Conclusion? This was a punitive and disproportionate attack on civilian infrastructure: a potential war crime.
— Andy Scollick (@andyscollick.bsky.social) 2026-04-02T15:17:37.206Z
That’s the aftermath of our bombing of the B1 bridge near Tehran, the biggest bridge in Iran, which killed eight people and injured 100. This came after Trump’s comments on Wednesday night that he intends to “bomb them back to the Stone Ages, where they belong,” which is a really horrifying thing to say about a country with 93 million civilians.
Meanwhile, Pete Hegseth forced out the Army’s Chief of Staff (in the middle of a war), General Randy George, who was appointed by President Biden in 2023, and whose four-year term isn’t up until 2027. Hegseth also reportedly pushed out two other generals. According to the NYT, Hegseth’s problem with George was over his failure to block the promotion of two Black men and two women, as Hegseth requested.
The Dallas Stars have a Nazi problem
Not great, Bob.
The fact that this was allowed to happen and these guys weren’t immediately tossed by security is a sad commentary on the state of the world.
A few weeks ago, I gave an interview about Heated Rivalry and feeling like we GenX sport reporters failed to give GenZ women the heads up on the NHL’s often toxic fandom, and this is a perfect example. Per other reports, people sitting around this group of children sent the video to stadium security, along with their seat numbers, but security claimed it “couldn’t find them.”
American Airlines Center is “looking into” the video.
The High Note
Each Day, I do my best to leave you with a smile on your face, a song in your heart, and the will to fight another day.
I love this message from the Artemis crew, who will go further into space than any other human beings, before launch.
I want a t-shirt that says “For all humanity.”
Hey, survive and advance out there today, kids. Don’t let the bastards get you down.
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